


Name Day

by silverspidertm2



Category: Journey into Mystery, Thor (Comics)
Genre: Best Friends, Drama, F/M, Family, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-09
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-30 20:23:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverspidertm2/pseuds/silverspidertm2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even gods have birthdays - or several if you're Loki. Some just don't know which to celebrate... or when.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Childhood’s End

**Author's Note:**

> Journey into Mystery is quite possibly the best comic Marvel has going on right now. If you're not reading it, you should be! This is just another for-fun fic. I'm also exploring my own idea about who exactly Leah of Hel is.

Loki was convinced Leah aged backwards.

Not in the literal sense, for whatever she was she seemed to be affected by time in the same manner as he, but he saw a slow but clear shift in her temperament in the couple years of their acquaintance. She had gone from cold and intense to actually cracking half-a-smile the few times she found his jokes funny. And every once in a while she talked in a tone that was not passive-aggressive and sarcastic. The first time that had happened, the boy had grinned at her.

“See? I told you we would be BFFs,” he declared triumphantly to which Leah had simply rolled her eyes.

Now they were sitting in the corner of Asgard’s great hall watching as others celebrated another anniversary of the rebuilding of the great city. The girl gingerly took a bite of the fresh hot sweet-meat they had taken from one of the big tables. The mugs of ale sat untouched on the ground. Loki was somewhat disheartened that he’d gone through so much trouble to swipe the forbidden drink but neither of them found it to their liking.

“I don’t understand the purpose of this,” Leah confessed.

“The calibration?” the boy checked. “Asgard’s been through a lot since the last and final Ragnarok. Every new year is a year that distances us from the War of the Serpent and... and the siege.” He felt himself grow distant, slipping back into a past he could not and had no desire to remember. Loki blinked and grinned at her. “Besides everyone likes a good party.”

“So it is a... name day of sorts? For Asgard.”

“In a sense.” He picked up the ale, waved his hand over it, and the alcohol dutifully turned into a root beer float. “Mortals call them ‘birthdays’, not ‘name days’ though.”

“And they do this every year?” She seemed puzzled. “That seems overly self-indulgent.”

“They only live about eighty,” Loki reminded her. “It would be if we celebrated... once a century or so. But you know what they say: when on Midgard... There’s nothing wrong with birthday parties.”

“You never had one.” Leah pointed out. “Not in as long as I have been here.”

“No.” He shrugged. “I can’t really celebrate when I was born to Laufey. That would make me far too old. Serrure wasn’t even a real person, so it would make no sense to remember his birthday even if I could recall when that was. If I were to celebrate anything, it would be the day Thor found me in Paris and restored me awareness to what I am.”

“But you _were_ born at some point,” Leah pressed.

“So were you.”

He thought about that, cocking his head to the side. It occurred to him that apart from knowing that she was Hela’s handmaiden and that the goddess of death had ordered her to stay by his side, he knew very little about Leah. It had never bothered Loki before – he, more than anyone else, understood that sometimes you had to accept things for what they were – but with all this talk of birthdays, he got curious.

“When _is_ your b... name day?” he asked suddenly. Leah stared at him. “Or whatever you’d like to celebrate in place of one.”

“Why do you want to know?” The girl was instantly suspicious. “So you might plan a prank?”

“No!” The thought honestly hadn’t crossed his mind, though now that she mentioned it... “No, I swear on my honor...”

Leah crossed her arms. “Not good enough, oh ye, Lord of Mischief.”

“Fine, I swear on...” He looked around the great hall for a suitable target. “I swear a blood oath in Thor’s name I have no ill intentions for this information.”

“Ah, this must be a very serious matter indeed.”

Loki felt himself lifted from behind. He was laughing, clutching at the ornate brace as Thor hoisted him into the air easily with one arm. Seeing the mirth in his brother’s eyes was enough to tell the young god he was in no danger. Leah was trying to hide her own amusement behind her cup that had long since turned from mead to milkshake.

“Hi, Thor!”

“Hello to you too, little brother. Might I inquire why you are swearing blood oaths on my name?”

Loki wrinkled his nose. “Leah refuses to tell me her when her name day is. Make her.”

“And how do you propose I do that?” The older god asked. “With lightning? Mjolnir perhaps?”

“Well, you _do_ have the thing for a reason.”

“Not for striking fair maidens,” his brother chided. “You mustn’t ever do such a thing.”

“He is right, you know.” Thor put him down just as Sif came to stand beside them. The thunder god’s raven-haired consort gave his brother a pointed look. “Said maiden may very well strike back.”

“She,” Loki pointed an accusing finger at Leah who was the very picture of innocence, “is no fair maiden. She certainly doesn’t play fair.”

Leah’s usually composed features went ice cold. “Loki Laufeyson! Are you questioning my virtue!”

_Uh-oh..._

He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but judging by the girl’s expression and Thor’s booming laughter, the boy was intelligent enough to know he had just stepped in a pile bigger than anything Toothgrinder and Toothgnasher had ever created. Leah’s eyes were sparkling with the green energies of magic. His brother placed a large hand on his shoulder.

“You had better flee while you can,” Thor advised. “Even I may not be able to protect you.”

Not needing to be told twice, Loki took off with Leah close on his heels. He could hear Thor and Sif’s laughter and the fading sounds of celebration in the great hall. He was nearly out of ear shot when Loki heard Sif turn to his brother.

“Does he know little girls pick fights with and generally tease boys they like?”

Finally safe in his room and only a little singed, Loki thought that perhaps it was best to stay out of Leah’s way for the next day or so at least. Thor’s return after Tanarus had been dealt with, made it possible for the girl to leave her great big hole in the ground and take up residence in Asgard. Loki had glossed over the details of his role in the War of the Serpent, but he did mention that they had become friends along the way, and with Thor’s support, Leah had been cautiously welcomed into the city.

At some point later, Thori, the Hel-hound, came padding inside. He aged slower than any Midgardian dog but after two years was already about the size of a St. Bernard. Loki suspected it was just the tip of the iceberg if his mother’s size was any indication.

“Don’t you usually sleep in Leah’s room?” he asked.

“Scary girl,” the pup muttered before turning in a circle and plopping down heavily next to Loki’s bed. He burped, blowing out a tiny puff of flames, and promptly settled into sleep.

That was a fairly solid indication that what the boy had said had been taken to have more malice than he meant. That was not Loki’s design. All childish squabbling aside, he liked Leah, and when Loki liked someone, he wanted them to be happy. Therefore rising at the crack of dawn, he went to his books of magic. Even if Leah refused to tell him when her name day was, he could still make her a cake in way of an apology for nagging.

When the magic-infused batter hit the proverbial fan – actually it was the high ceiling which was fairly impressive in itself – Ikol took off from his perch with a chortle that Loki supposed passed for laughter. The Hel-hound merely padded towards the mess and sniffed at the singed mass. Loki looked at the magpie.

“This is harder than it looks,” the boy complained.

“Of course.” He noted obvious sarcasm in the bird’s voice. “If you insist on persisting with this foolishness, I suggest you consult an expert before you level the whole of Asgard. Again.”

“That was you!” Loki protested.

“Semantics,” the magpie replied before flying out the tower window.

Loki ignored him, growing thoughtful. He _could_ go to the kitchens and ask for one, but that wouldn’t be special. He wanted to make the cake himself. All Loki needed was a little guidance. Who did he know who baked? Not Sif… Certainly not Thor. Then it came to him! Grinning, the boy bolted out of his room.

“What are you up to, you little scoundrel?”

Volstagg was clearly not expecting to see him on his front door especially so early in the morning, but that didn’t deter Loki. The boy bounced a little on the balls of his feet.

“Can I borrow Hildegund?”

Hildegund, Volstagg’s plump, good-natured wife, was easily the best cook in Asgard. She was also one of the nicest people Loki had ever met. Before Volstagg could complain, the woman was also at the door, smiling and dragging Loki inside. When they were in the kitchen – she was in the middle of making breakfast – she patted a stool for him.

“Now then,” she wiped her hands on her apron, “what can I do for the little princeling?”

“I need to know how to bake a cake,” he explained. “It’s for my friend Leah.”

The woman beamed. “Is it her name day?”

“No,” Loki shook his head. “At least I don’t think so. She won’t tell me when it is, you see. I think maybe she doesn’t know, so I want to surprise her.”

“Oh, aren’t you sweet,” she cooed and pulled the bag of flower to sit between them on the table. “Pay close attention now.”

A few hours later, with the small round cake in a pretty package, Loki hurried along to Leah’s room. To his disappointment, the girl was not there, but it didn’t take him long to find her in the great hall – now cleaned after the previous night’s festivities – sitting at the end of one of the long tables. She was eating breakfast and tossing every once in a while handing out pieces of meat to the Hel-hound pup who sat by the bench.

“Leah!” Loki grinned and jumped on the opposite one. “Good morning!”

“You neglected to feed your pet. Little wonder he prefers my company.”

She gave him a slightly disdainful look, but no different from any other in the past. Loki figured that must mean she was getting over whatever was bothering her. Still it was no reason not to give her the cake.

“Here!” He pushed the box across the table towards her.

The girl eyed it warily. “Is it going to explode?”

“No.”

“Unleash some kind of pests everywhere?”

“No.”

“Is it a hex? A curse?”

“No, Leah.” He was only mildly annoyed. “It’s a present. Open it.”

“Alright...”

She hesitantly pulled the box towards her and began to untie the bow. When the sides fell away, Leah stared at the small round pastry. Seeing that she didn’t understand, Loki explained helpfully.

“It’s a name day cake. Even if you won’t tell me when yours is I made you one... Leah?”

He stopped speaking when he saw that she wasn’t paying attention anymore. Her hands clutched into fists in her lap, head hung so that her long raven tresses hid her face. He didn’t see it fall until the single tear splashed the wooden table.

Everything that happened after that was almost too fast to register.

Suddenly a fell wind was in the air, and before Loki or anyone else knew it, the bone-lined portal opened straight in the middle of the hall. There were gasps all around as the goddess of the dead stepped through. Across the table form him, Leah’s head snapped up, her eyes growing wide.

“Mistress Hela...”

“Leah,” the otherwise-imposing goddess’ tone was not ungentle. “It is time to come home.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Leah’s return to Hel was not quite the same as an actual death, but to Loki it felt near close to one. Most children, when faced with such a tragedy, turned to their parents for comfort and to seek understanding. Loki had no such parent, but he did have Thor. Unfortunately all his brother had to offer was a look of pity.

“Hela had this right,” he told the boy gently. “She is mistress over all in her domain.”

“Leah was not in her domain!” Loki protested. “She was in this one. And why now? She left her here to help me. This is so... random!”

“Death often is.” Next to his brother, Sif mirrored his look of sadness.

“She’s not dead!” He felt like stomping his foot but realized how childish that would look. “Leah said she was a ‘keeper of the dead’ not one herself. She _grew_ here, Thor! Even when the dead come here, how often have you known them to grow?”

“Never,” the thunder god admitted. “But then few have remained above long enough to observe this. If Leah did not belong in Hel, she would not be there. I _am_ sorry, brother, but there is little we can do.”

“We _could_ go down there and demand Hela explain herself.” Loki had already made up his mind to do just that.

“We cannot demand anything of Hela.” Thor shook his head and rose. “But we can ask.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“Thor. Loki.”

Tyr met them at the gateway to Niffleheim. The fallen god of battles looked at the boy with more favor than he had when he’d been living. Loki was glad his role in the War of the Serpent had won him back favor with at least one brethren his former self had betrayed time and time again. The warrior’s dark eyes looked between the two living gods.

“Tyr,” Thor spoke. “We would speak with Hela.”

“I know.” The general of Hel nodded. “She has been expecting you.”

Hela’s castle was a dark cold place, which had never bothered Loki before. Now he had no wish to stray from his brother’s side any further than necessary. Thor was the only source of warmth in the hollowed halls of the dead. The goddess greeted them in her thrown room, not bothering to rise.

“What would the sons of Odin have of me?”

 _My friend back!_ Loki wanted to scream but let his brother take the lead as agreed upon.

“We would inquire to the reason for Lady Leah’s sudden departure,” Thor said diplomatically.

“Where my servants go is none of your concern, Odinson,” Hela replied simply. “However I assure you she is safe and happy here. Unlike above. Perhaps you would ask your brother why he caused the girl’s tears.”

“I only brought her a name day cake!” Loki objected as all the adults turned to him. “I don’t know why she started crying all of a sudden. Leah never cries.”

“Until you,” the mistress of the dead said accusingly.

“I meant no harm!” He took a step forward, out of the safety of Thor’s immediate reach. “Whatever I have done, please let me apologize.”

“You may do so,” Hela said coolly. “But it will change nothing.”

Leah’s room in the castle was very much similar to the one she had in Asgard, but like everything else in Hel, it held no warmth. In Asgard, the Hel-hound could often be found resting by the fire in her chimers. She’d even taking to tending to a small potted rose bush kept on her windowsill. Like so many things in the world of the living, flowers had fascinated the girl.

Now he found her looking out a similar window into the bare wasteland of Hel.

He cleared his throat. “I brought that cake. It’s a little crumpled, but I thought you might still like it. I made it myself.”

She didn’t turn. “I don’t remember my name day, Loki.”

“Oh.” He blinked. “Is that why you were crying?”

When the girl said nothing, he placed the package on the table and turned to the door.

“I’m sorry, Leah.”


	2. Another Start of Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's part 2 with my oh-so-original-though-probably-not theory of Leah's origins. :D Also I'm on a business trip in Boston... I shouldn't be up... oh well.

Years passed, and Loki grew as children – even gods – tended to do. By the time he was a young man, he was all lean muscles and deft fingers that wove strands of magic with nearly as much ease as in prior lifetimes. A simple gold band was nestled in his raven black hair. His keen emerald-green eyes rarely missed anything. If Loki feared that age would turn him back to the monster he was in past lives he needed only to look to his brother to see the fierce pride in Thor’s eyes, and his heart was once more at peace.

Slowly and somewhat grudgingly, the other Aesir came to accept him. Trust remained strained – and would for another lifetime or two Loki figured – but he could walk the halls and gardens without fear, even speak with some in a kindly manner. The Warriors Three were better to him than even their oath demanded, and Sif had become almost like a big sister. He would have to ask Thor when that would become official.

Still he never forgot _her_.

Once every year since her departure, Loki journeyed to Hel. He brought her gifts. The first year it was the rose pot from her room in Asgard, though Loki quickly discovered that flowers did not fare well in Hel. Later it was various trinkets from his adventures. He spoke of those though Leah never faced him and rarely said anything. Hela tolerated this as long as Loki did not overstay his welcome.

But as yet another of such anniversaries approached, the young god found himself at a loss. His brother looked on in amusement, arms crossed over his chest, as Loki rummaged through the ‘perfectly organized’ mess of his chimers. Finally he sank onto one of the cushions with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t know what to bring,” he confessed.

“Are you obligated to bring anything? It is not truly her name day.” Thor idly traced a path in the dust of one of the thick tomes with his finger.

“And ‘Leah’ is not likely truly her name,” Loki pointed out. “But details like that matter as little as the actual day we choose to celebrate. She is my friend. That’s the only part I care about.”

“She _was_ your friend,” his brother corrected gently. “The dead and the living...”

“She’s not dead!” Loki repeated for what he felt like the hundredth time over the years. “Why does no one understand that?”

Thor gave him a look. “If she is not, why do you suppose she is in Hel?”

“I don’t know!” The youth threw up his hands in frustration. “She’s loyal. To Hela. Blindly, _stupidly_ loyal, but,” he sighed, “I _suppose_ _some_ might consider it an admirable quality.”

His brother’s frown deepened. “What did you say?”

Loki blinked. “I only meant...”

“You said she remains out of loyalty. And you said ‘Leah’ is not truly her name?”

“I highly doubt that. Think about it: ‘Leah’... ‘Hela’...”

He could tell Thor wasn’t listening any more; he was thinking. Being a good brother, Loki offered to help.

“Thor? What is it?”

The thunderer peered at him in a funny way that made Loki wonder whether or not he was seeing him or someone else in his place. He had received far too many such looks from the other citizens of Asgard. Seeing it from Thor was not pleasant at all, even if there was no malice in his brother’s gaze.

“Might you consider postponing your trip for a day?” the older god finally asked.

“Why?” Loki frowned.

“I have a... suspicion.”

“Care to share it, brother?”

“No,” Thor pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning against. “Not until I am certain. I do not wish to concern you if it is not so.”

Loki’s eyes followed him all the way to the door, but right before he left, the youth called out to him. “It’s about my old self, isn’t it?”

Thor paused, sighing heavily. “It is nothing... bad, Loki.”

Laughter so bitter he didn’t think it possibly to have come out of his mouth, rang through the room. “Oh, my dear brother. Have we not established ages ago what an awful liar you are?”

* * * * * * * * * *

For the most part the other gods feared Hela. They would say they hated her, but Thor knew better. One had no more reason to hate the keeper of the dead than to curse the seasons for changing. Death was a fact of life. Cursing the goddess would change nothing. In fact when asked, many would grudgingly admit that Hela’s sense of duty to her charges was admirable.

While in his youth he feared her as much as any, in recent times Thor had come to respect the goddess. Now, however, he was angry. Angry enough to storm past Tyr at the gates, hand tightly griped around Mjolnir’s handle as if he meant to actually use it. He was not entirely sure that was not the case. It depended on what Hela had to say.

“Why?” His fury boomed through her audience chamber like righteous thunder. “How?”

The goddess was unmoved, not bothering to rise. “I do not appreciate this, Odinson.”

“No?” Thor demanded. “Perhaps you might like to inquire as to how much I appreciate your interference with members of my family. You will find my tolerance for such games slim. How dare you hold her prisoner here?”

“She is not a prisoner,” Hela replied calmly. “She has always been free to go at will but chooses not to. Little wonder, considering how your brother oft behaves.”

“But you admit she does not belong in Hel.” The goddess’ lack of denial surprised him almost enough for some of the anger to fade. Thor glared at her. “How did she come to be here to begin with?”

“That is a question better addressed to you, thunderer.” But she did not sound angry. More than anything Hela seemed... tired. She sighed and rose from her throne of stone. “Do you recall after the last and final Ragnarok when you brought all of us back from nothingness?”

He did, but Thor had no memory of seeing _her_ then. He’d been so consumed with the burden of rule, then Balder, then exile, searching for Sif, dealing with Loki, the Siege... There had just been so much! Hela could no doubt see it all on his face; he had never been good at hiding his thoughts of feelings.

“She came to me,” the goddess went on. “After everything Loki had done, she could not bare to be by his side anymore, but nor could she stand against him with the rest of Asgard. It is in her nature: loyalty. She _chose_ to serve at my side because death is nothing if not impartial.”

“But she was not...” Thor was at a loss for words.

“No, she was not as she is now,” Hela agreed. “She was a woman in full possession of every painful memory, every hurt she had suffered in Asgard. I can relate to that. And then one day... one day when she did not come when summoned, I went to seek her out. In the place of a woman I had come to know stood a little girl with no knowledge of who she was or why she was here.”

“That must have been when I returned my brother from the great beyond,” Thor spoke without looking at her. “A bond such as that... so strong it transcends space and time and death...”

“The reason did not concern me,” Hela told him. “I cared for her, taught her magic, gave her my name. In both lives she proved to be a loyal and capable attendant. Duty gave her purpose.”

“That does not make this right!” Thor objected. “Any of it!”

“Would it be right to give her back to Loki?” Hela countered. “So he might torment her for another endless lifetime?”

“He is nothing like he was! Regardless of their history, they are friends now, and she does not belong here.” He turned to go. “Loki will come tomorrow. You are right, Hela: it should be her choice, but it is a choice she should make with full knowledge. I will accept nothing less.”

But when he returned to Asgard, doubt began to creep in. Just what was he supposed to say to Loki? How was he to speak of this, to explain to his little brother who wanted nothing more than to distance himself from offences of the past. Sif watched as he paced the length of the empty great hall. Her steady calm soothed him without the woman having to utter a single word.

“How am I to tell him?” the thunderer ran a hand though his hair after passing the tale along.

“With care,” Sif replied wryly. “But you must. He is near the age of adulthood, and so far you have both been able to prevent history from repeatingitselfyetagain.Itwillbenearimpossibleifyouarenothonestwithhim.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Being in Asgard's library surrounded by scrolls and leathery tomes that smelled of age and mold brought the teen comfort. It was a trait he shared with his prior incarnation, but one of the few he did not mind. Where they differed was that in the past, Loki might have had a few choice words upon finding his brother in said room when he entered.

Young Loki simply raised a brow. He might have had a witty remark on hand but that fell away when he saw the look on Thor's face. Loki froze at the entrance.

“Thor?” He took a step closer.

His brother raised blue eyes to him, and Loki could not quite tell what the look was. Sadness? Pity? Whatever it was he didn't like it at all. Loki had never seen him like this. He almost seemed... shaken. The thunder god swallowed hard and nodded at the door.

“Close the door please, little brother.”

“Alright.” He did slowly. “Have you... is this in regard to your... suspicion?”

“Aye.” Loki supposed that it proved true. His brother picked for a book set aside on the shelf ladder and extended it to him. “You should go to your friend, Loki. Give her this. I know you were searching for a gift in any event.”

“What is it?” the younger god took the thick tome.

“Something... someone we both forgot about,” Thor's response was oddly cryptic. “Though my fault far outweighs yours.”

“That must be a first. And the nine realms still stand?” Loki quipped. His brother did not bite though, so his own expression turned serious. “Might I know what is in it? In case Leah asks for an explanation.”

That was doubtful as she had never even looked at any of his gifts in his presence. He wasn't entirely sure she didn't dispose of them as soon as he departed. Thor did smile then, but even that was obviously sad.

“I left a mark for you.” He nodded at the red silk ribbon that hung from between the pages. “A braver man would tell the tale, but I cannot find the words. I hope you forgive me, brother.”

Thor left him with those cryptic words, so Loki did the only thing he could: he sat down amidst the piles of other books and read. He read until his eyes burned and the letters before him blurred. When Loki barely caught a single droplet before it could splash the fragile paper, he closed the book.

Then he went to see Leah.

No, that was not her name. If he had only suspicions before, now Loki had facts. How could he expect her to recall her name day when the true name itself was lost to the winds of time? Their predicaments may have seemed similar, but at least he knew who he was.

Ikol sat silent on the ledge of a library window. Loki glared at the bird.

“You should have told me.” But there was little force in his voice.

The bird said nothing and took off into the night.

This time when he went down to Hel, Loki saw no one. No Tyr, no Hela to give him looks of cold disapproval. His path to Leah was entirely unhindered. He wondered if he might see her differently now that he knew the truth, but when Loki laid eyes on the-now young woman, he felt little shift. She was, as ever, a friend to him.

“How fairs the lovely Leah this day?” She didn't answer, but he really didn't expect her to. Loki cleared his throat. “I've brought you a gift. A book I found most... enlightening. Might you consider reading? It would give us something to talk about when next I come.”

No answer, and Loki decided it was time to drop the charade. “I will go, but I do beseech you to look at the pages marked. Our childhood is over. I know it now. Whatever happens next is in your hands, Leah, but I would not have you make that choice in ignorance.”

He placed the book on a table next to her bed and left without another word.

In Asgard, he sought out his brother. Thor and Sif were in the great hall speaking in hushed tones which stopped all together when he entered. The warrior woman looked at him with the same sad look his brother had given. He hated it. Loki reached for Thor's goblet and took a long deep gulp. His brother only raised a brow at this.

“You rarely partake in drink.”

“Of the intoxicating verity,” the youth agreed and tipped the cup so that Thor might see what remained. “I am, however, quite fond of the Midgardian drink known as soda.”

“I lament the loss of my mead,” Thor said wryly before his face turned serious. “How do you fare, Loki?”

“As well as can be expected upon learning that my friend is really my long-lost wife, except not really due to the messy thing known as reincarnation.” He took another drink. “At least I am glad to learn she is not really dead. I was starting to have doubts.”

“Loki.” It was Sif who spoke. “Do not be angry with your brother. He did not mean to keep the truth from you.”

_ Keeping truths... _ It sounded so strangely familiar, an echo from another life. It made Loki's blood boil, but Thor was not his target. How dare history put them in this predicament again?

“You did not know,” he told Thor. “And once you did, you kept nothing from me. I hold no grudge against you but I would have us speak. What was she like? This woman I was once wed to? Was she like Leah?”

“They are as much alike as you are with your prior life.”

“Well, that is not very comforting.” Loki crossed his arms.

“I meant,” Thor corrected, “is that you share certain traits. As she was before, she was kind, gentle, and loyal to a fault.”

“To her husband.” It was still somewhat difficult to associate himself and Leah to those other people. “For which most _did_ hold her at fault, no doubt. And Leah is hardly gentle.”

“But we are not among them,” Sif replied to the previous statement. “She was in an extremely difficult position, and yet remained as she was: brave and unbroken. I admire her courage.”

“As do I.” His brother agreed. “The impact of the past can be neither denied nor ignored, but you have each carried the best of what you once were into this life. I would see you both happy.”

“I as well.” Loki drew a breath. “I am simply not certain her happiness lies with me.”

He greeted the morning not in his chambers but outside on the grassy fields insight of both the cities of the gods and men. The sun was warm on his face, and the light breeze that blew through his hair felt perfect. Loki found himself strangely at peace and closed his eyes.

He only opened them when a feather-light touch brushed at his hair. A few strands that had grown a bit long escaped from his crown, and Loki reached up to move them out of his eyes. Instead his hand was caught by another. He looked up. Leah was standing over him. She looked the same, but he thought her complexion was just a shade more alive than before.

“I'm not her,” were the first words out of her mouth. “The woman in your book.”

“I know,” he said carefully. “I am not who her husband was. I try _very_ hard not to be him.”

She seemed to be thinking about those words, lips pressed into a thin line. Then the young woman slowly nodded. “Hela told me everything. I asked, and she swore she held nothing back.”

“Hela is... honorable.” He almost hated forcing those words out, but they were true. “I have no doubt her actions were meant for your protection.”

“Is she right?” Leah raised one dark elegant brow. “ _Do_ I need protection from you, Loki?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Not as I am now.”

“And what are you now?”

It was a trick question. He'd dealt out his own fair share that he knew one when he heard it. Slowly the young man rose and took both of her hands in his. They must have been quite a sight on that grassy hill. It would have been almost romantic if it were not for his next words.

“I'm your friend.” He said honestly. “Which, given history, seems a far better alternative to 'husband'. Not that 'husband' is an entirely unfavorable title... for the _far_ future.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “And what in the nine realms makes you think I would ever have you?”

Loki grinned. “I can be  _ very _ charming. Stay, and you'll see.” His expression turned serious suddenly. “Can you? Stay, that is? Has Hela...”

“Released me. She said that if I chose to depart, I would not see her halls again until my time came.” She at him very seriously. “I hope you will not make me regret that choice.”

“I will do my utmost best.” Loki inclined his head and pressed his lips against her knuckles. “I have missed you, L...”

Her fingers pressed against his mouth to silence him.

“My name,” breathed the young woman, “is Sigyn.”


End file.
